Things I'm Wanting

Ran with the kidlets to Ikea on Monday, I am so proud of myself.  And they have free breakfasts on Monday until 11, score!  I didn't even know about it, but am now permanently putting that on my Monday list of things-to-do-with the kidlets.  Our school district doesn't have class on Mondays so all kids are home with me.  Every.single.Monday.  If Ikea wasn't an hour away from my house I bet we would be there every single Monday for the free breakfast.  Ikea regulars.  They would all know our names and the kitchen staff would run away when they saw the Nelson's coming to eat all of their food!  They gave every kid plus me a free breakfast, 6 in one fell swoop!

While there I was checking out the bench I chatted about that morning.  And after seeing it I decided that it really wasn't worth the $69 and I am going to try and build one myself.  I will keep you posted on that.  Seeing as I am going hunting this weekend for the first time in my life it probably won't be made any time soon.  But I kind of need to do it quick, lest I want Truitt to keep trying to escape and fall on his head.

Anyway, while at Ikea I saw this botanical chart

Okay, so we all know my obsessions with these.  This puppy was huge, and only $20.  I wanted so badly to buy it, but after staring at it for around 10 minutes and racking my brain like crazy for a spot to put it, even asking Ava and Owen if they could think of a spot for it, sadly, I left the store without it.

Then I came home and I had gotten a West Elm catalog in the mail and so I hopped online to browse their bedding, and when I couldn't find anything exciting, hopped over to Zgallerie where I found this comforter

Normally it isn't something that I would quickly gravitate to, but I have had a thing for geometric shapes lately.  But it's $169 and I change my mind too frequently on colors to spend that kind of money on a duvet cover, even if I really love its graphic nature, and the dark color.  I think I am fixated on dark, moody rooms.  To go along with my dark reading of Russian Literature.  I swear I am not depressed.

Back at the West Elm site I saw this light fixture

I think it would match beautifully with the above bedspread and botanical print.  Maybe I should just show this picture to Chris and tell him for a mere $338 plus S&H, it could all be ours.  He would probably tell  me I am insane and why am I so fixated on black things?

To round out the room I would also get this dresser

I love the beat up nature of this, but not crazy about the bottom, it looks like it could easily tip if it was on carpet or something uneven.  And at almost $1100, this is a big no way.  I bet someone could build this much cheaper though.  I think the light wood would be a nice play on the dark of the other stuff though.  

I am contemplating painting my bedroom dark.  Remember this swatch from the living room?

I ended up picking the bottom starred color for the hallway and living room, and if the kitchen is black, then I am looking at the second to last shade for our bedroom.  Nice and cozy and mysterious.  Love.  Would Chris like it?  Probably not so much, but I am trying to get him in the mode of "Jess' home is her hobby".  We'll see how far he'll let me take it.  

I have also started to paint the hallway and the living room the gray that I picked.  and I have to admit I am not super crazy with how it is turning out.  The biggest problem is our doors are that ugly, stained orangey color that so many people have in their homes and next to the gray they clash horribly.  I know it will look way better once I start doing the trim but it is hard to imagine at this point in time.  Especially since I am trying to paint during the day with three babies, which I do not recommend, but I don't know how else I will get it done.  And the fact that I will need two coats on every wall.  Trim will make me cry because I will have to degloss then prime and then paint.  Maybe I can convince some crazy person to take my entire family for a weekend away and I will stay here, crank the music and paint until the fumes make me go crazy!

I probably shouldn't even be mentioning the fact that I am a little unhappy with how it looks since Chris told me the other day that he read my blog.  What?  He probably has looked at my blog all of 5 times since I have been doing it way back from when it was about our adoption.  And then he just happens to pop on this week and take a gander.  Good thing I didn't list what I was getting him for Christmas.  Of course, that would be due to the fact that I have no idea since it's only October.   Although now would be a good time to mention to him that yes, Christmas does fall on December 25th again this year, so you better get crackin' honey. (It somehow manages to sneak up on him every year and I get gifts like a train conductor hat...)  Now he'll see all of my mad ideas and try to stop me before I just do them first without telling him.  Which has been my standard practice.

Oh, and the Peppermint Mochas are back at McDonalds.  I die.  Especially since I just started a Biggest Loser Competition with 8 other lady friends starting tomorrow.  But I can get in a large today.

Anna Karenina 2012

Somehow along the way in my crazy life, I just learned that Anna Karenina was made into a movie.  And it comes out mid-November.  Apparently, I live under a rock for most of my life.

Keira Knightley is the star (I am pretty sure I misspelled her name), and while that seems so cliche, I am so excited for it.  So excited that I am "quick" trying to reread the book (my copy is 853 pages) so I can remember what it is all about for the movie.  And then if they depart from the book I can be irritated and grumble and things of that nature.  (Remember Great Expectations with Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke?  Yeah, the book totally didn't end that way.)  People, this book is way more than just the story about the Russian woman who threw herself under a train for love.  Although I did hear that the movie is actually a play of Anna Karenina, which should be an interesting thing to watch- a movie about a play about a book.  I have to admit hearing it that way gives me a few doubts, but it is my understanding that is has gotten rave reviews.

Look at that picture.  You just know it is going to be filled with beautiful images.  

I will be going to the movie by myself.  This is for several reasons.  One, Chris could care less about Russian books/movies, especially ones that are centered around an affair, and two, I want to be able to blithely look at all of the beautiful things, for lack of a better world, that will be portrayed in the movie given that it is about Russia's elite. People actually lived like that.  I cannot even imagine living in such elegance.  Especially when I scrape meals out of the rug and chase my kids around the house trying to prevent them from eating markers.  Where is my exotic nanny from a different country?  Oh yes, that's me when I use an accent.

Watch the trailer, it is amazing.

Basically, Russian writers like Tolstoy (who wrote this book), and Dostoevsky, coupled with the unbelievably fascinating Czarist history are why I became so interested in Russia in general, even taking Russian in college.  Man I wish I would have kept that up.  I have tried countless times to get Chris to take me to Russia.  Yeah, that's a no go.  Not like we have the money or anything, but theoretically....

In trying to cram this book in as short a time as possible, I am reminded at how completely astounded I am that a man was able to grasp so many views that women have during some highly emotional scenes.  It really amazes me that someone would be able to express things so eloquently and they aren't even of the same sex.

I challenge you to read it.  It will take a long time, and there is a lot of interesting philosophical debate that happens among characters in the book.  You can either be annoyed by it because it takes longer to get through the story or embrace it and think about what they are saying.  That seems to be something that most Russian writers that I am familiar with do- expound upon moral questions for their characters.  I am talking pages and pages of moral reasoning.  You don't see that anymore in novels.  Especially modern ones. 

Assuming the movie doesn't come out in limited release, and I imagine there is a good chance of that happening, because how many people do you know that would go to a movie like that?  I will be lining up for opening weekend.  Even if it means driving far away to see it at a more "cultured" theater.  My little podunk town probably won't be carrying it, seeing that I could probably count all of the people I know on one hand who would go!

Cramming 7 people around the table

Well, I think it's official.  After Truitt managed to undo his highchair tray and stand up in his seat I have decided that he must be moved to the table in a regular booster seat.  This creates a mondo problem for us as we only have room around our table for 6 chairs.  6 chairs, 7 people.  Houston we have a problem.

I think I have solved this problem by getting a bench from Ikea that spans the whole length of the table and upon which I am hoping to deposit three little bottoms at every meal.

It's the cheapest one I could find coming in at $69.  Probably I could make it for a whole lot cheaper then that, only I don't have the time or the patience to do so.  

Ava has already requested that she not sit by Owen.  I don't know how to break the news to her that not only will she still be in the vicinity of him, but on the same piece of wood.  I am sure she will love that.  And because we still have the whole too many kids, not enough space problem, now there is going to be a child in between her and Owen who isn't in a booster seat.  

I am not exactly looking forward to this situation because that means that whatever child is between the two oldest will not be tied down at dinner times and free to try and get down and roam if they so choose, but I don't know how else to get everyone at the table.  A bigger table isn't an option because our space can't accommodate a bigger table.  I can't wait until they are all teenagers and we try to fit 5 hulking kids up to the table.  Let alone feed them.  I hope they like rice and beans because that's about all we'll be able to afford!

The upside to all of this is that hopefully Truitt will feel more like he belongs to the pack instead of in the high chair a fair distance away from the table (again because of the space thing).  The downside is that now my table will be abused by 5 kids instead of 4 and Truitt has zero self control.  I can only imagine him trying to reach everyone's food and the pots and everything within the reach of his grubby little hands.  

Why we don't do Halloween

I loved Halloween as a kid.  I was mostly a gypsy or a princess.  Except for one year when all of my brothers and I had to be hockey players because the outfits were warm and there was a blizzard.  And I naturally assumed that my kids would do it too.  And they did.  Ava was a cute little lady bug her first year, and Owen a cute little spider.  (What's up with me and bugs and babies?)

We did it every year until Owen was 3, that was the year that he freaked out.

He freaked out because of costumes like this:

Yuck, it makes me feel gross just to put this picture in, but I think it helps drive home the point.  Owen would see stuff like this and literally go spastic.  We even tried taking the kids exclusively to a church that did a Halloween/Harvest festival and people would show up dressed in things like the above picture.  And we decided that it simply didn't make sense to take our kids out and expose them to gross things like this.  

Some people think as Christians that we shouldn't participate in holidays that once had a pagan association with them, but I don't necessarily feel that way.  We still do Christmas (although we don't do Santa Claus), even though we know that Jesus wasn't born in December, and I don't feel bad about that.  But I do feel bad about a holiday that had it's focus on demons, etc. and people still like to use it to dress disgusting and glorify murder and nastiness and other things of that nature.  We have had people say that it's not about that anymore, and I would agree that for most people it isn't, but that doesn't change the way my kids feel about the things that they see and the fact that I feel convicted to not do it.

Don't get me wrong, not every person feels the way that I do about it, and I am honestly okay with that.  But we are definitely sensitive to what our kids can handle, and they can't handle this.  And that is totally fine by us.  I would rather not see the stuff above either.  To this day at this time of year anywhere we go where they have scary stuff for displays Owen will tell me to look away because of the yucky stuff and either cover his own eyes or turn his head away.

If halloween were up to me people would be dressed in costumes like this

.

I would be all over Halloween if this was how people dressed to have fun and go get candy.  But as long as it remains centered around gross and scary things, we will sit it out.  And since that is kind of a major part of Halloween for many, we probably will always sit it out.

So each Halloween we let the kids pick a big bag of whatever candy they want and watch fun movies and play Yahtzee in the basement with all the upstairs lights out so people don't come knocking at our door.  

And my kids don't miss going around at all.  

Winter and Clothing 5 Kids

I have already had nightmares about taking my tribe out in the winter time.  5 kids in snowpants and boots, jackets, hats, gloves and scarves.  I think as a good alternative we just won't go anywhere unless we absolutely have to.  It's already frozen here twice.  I want a winter like last year where we only had 22 inches of snow the entire time.  The year before that we had 86.  Seven freakin' feet of snow.  That is a lot of shoveling.  I don't want to repeat that scenario, but given we live in the in North, we probably will.  Maybe instead of all the separate stuff you need we'll just do this to all of our kids.

And since we live in a cold climate, we have to get a jump on getting these items because we might need them early, and they might sell out.  Which is what happened last year.  Owen busted his waterproof gloves and we couldn't find any in any of the stores around us and it was still January.  I am sorry, we had cold weather for at least 2 months after that but Owen didn't have any gloves, just those wimpy ones intended to wear when it is windy out and you need to only keep the cold off, not the wetness.

Chris' life saying aside from "never cut your budget in the food department", is probably "don't buy crappy boots".

We spend a lot of time outdoors and my children have inherited my cold feet- one of the very few things that they got from me.  So we try to buy good boots and only buy the type where you can take the liners out to dry them.  This amounts to a considerable amount of money being spent on them.

First we looked at Target, but they had zero boots where you could take the liners out.  We looked at Walmart and same thing.  So we had to up our search to some of the fancier places.

We went to Gander Mountain and found a nice pair.

This pair was $50.  I hardly ever spend $50 on anything for myself, let alone a pair of snowboots for a kid that will outgrow them in one, maybe two years if we buy them bigger.

Hopped on Amazon and it only got worse.  This nice Sorel was $60.  We are huge Sorel fans because they are ranked to zero or below and do a great job at keeping the toes toasty.  But not huge fans of the price, and it was even worse in the stores.

Finally after more than an hour of searching online we found the first pair pictured above on clearance at REI, of all places, for $30.  And because there is a store close to where Chris works he can pick it up for free.  We did get it a couple of sizes big, one because we found in reviews that they are made small, and two, we wanted to stretch out the wear for two years.  So we bought a 3 for Owen who is basically just in 1 for shoes.  

And this year I am buying a couple pairs of waterproof gloves for each kid at the beginning just in case they lose one, and lets face it, they almost always do.  Problem is, it's just so darn expensive.  Those gloves are usually $10 a piece, times 5, times 2 if they each have two pairs.  Yikes, $100 just on gloves.

It's going to take us forever to gear up and head out anywhere.  I am seriously dreading it.  Even a simple trip to the grocery store becomes an hour event by the time you dress up, go there, come home and hang it all up to dry.  Yuck.  

Being a hermit for yet another winter sounds better and better....   Last year it was out of necessity because the kids couldn't handle being out in places with large groups of people and we still were probably all a little shell-shocked from everything.  This year it is purely out of sanity for me because I will go crazy taking them with all their stuff everywhere.

Although I guess the flip side is going crazy in the house because of the lack of going anywhere.  I guess I am pretty much guaranteed to go crazy this winter.  Not a great outlook.

Gilded World Map DIY

Okay, you already know my obsession with maps, look at this baby I found while going through my daily design blogs.  It's from The Ugly Duckling House.




If it wasn't for the fact of my own beautiful map in my kitchen I would be all over this.  In a major way- as in run straight to the store right.this.minute to get what I need and get it done.


I actually think I am going to do the one that inspired her on wood.




Seriously, look at this thing, it is so amazing I want to cry.


But since I have one, I am thinking that I am going to do this for Chris' office since he has a major blank wall right behind his head begging for artwork. It's been blank for a few years now and slowly driving me crazy.  Artwork is low on his totem pole though, so nothing has been done.  But I totally see this in his future.

If you want to give it a go yourself here is the link for the gilded map:  Awesome Map

And here is the link for the wood map:  Awesome wood map

I'm also working on a new background for the blog.  I got sick of the old one, so it is quite possible you will click to this page and everyday there may be something new.  Or not.  I kind of like the clean look of just white, but we'll see.

Seriously Funny Stuff

Came across these pictures from a dad who stages them for his daughter and family.  Too funny.



















Go here to see more.

Living Room Painting? (Don't tell Chris!)

I, in my general let's-paint-everything-because-I-can mode, decided that my living room paint color, tan, doesn't exactly jive smoothly with my kitchen color, black.  So, I now have gray swatches up on the wall because I feel like this would help it be more cohesive.

Living room now in all its tan glory

And here are some kitchen shots

I am thinking darker gray walls with white trim.  The trim part scares me a little bit because we painted the trim in our kitchen black and it is a royal pain in the neck.  Plus, I would be doing it in the fall/winter so I can't just open the doors and windows for air circulation.  I will be using low/no VOC paint and that will help, but still.  

Here are some inspiration pictures that I am drawing on.

I love how the white just pops in the room.  My white curtains will look a lot better behind a white couch if the walls were gray.  Although, I bought a stencil that I plan on doing to the curtains and that will totally change everything.  I've had it for 2 weeks but haven't found the time.  It will have to be done at night because I need to lay it out in the living room and that is the only time I can keep 5 kids off it!

And I plan on doing the hallway the same gray color.  Right now I am leaning towards Medium Gray or Seal Point in Ace Paint at Ace Hardware.  All of the paint sold at Ace Hardware is low/no VOC.  Here is the color swatch that I am looking at.  The two starred ones are what I am tying to decide between.  The top starred swatch is Seal Point, and the bottom one is Medium Gray.  I have had these up in my house for a week now and can't decide. I know most people would be like just pick one, but they both look different throughout the day and I am not sure which one to pick!  I plan on deciding by this weekend though.  In the end, I probably wouldn't be able to tell, and our local Ace doesn't do paint samples.  Boo.

Chris came home and bless his heart, said, "So, you thinking about painting again?"  And when I said yes, he didn't say a whole lot, but he also didn't say something along the lines of "that is such a dumb idea and you don't have time".  If he would have said that I would have been really irritated.  But he didn't, what a sweet man!  

The only thing I am afraid of is that the house is getting a little more modern then what I prefer.  I really like the nature look of wood pieced and pictures of nature, etc., stuff like that, but I do really love my black kitchen and so I am thinking of rolling with that for now.  

Here's an example of what I am talking about with the nature thing in my living room.

I am thinking I can still make it nature-ish.  Yes?  The skull on the bottom shelf is of a bear.  I don't know if it is one my dad caught or if he found it, but I remember that skull from when I was a little girl.  One time when I was home I asked if he had any skulls or antlers that I could have and he told me I could display it in my house.  I was so excited!  Must be a farm girl thing.  You can take the girl out of the farm, but not completely the farm out of the girl, or something like that!

And do you see on the top shelf the white lump?  Those are a model of my teeth.  I thought it would be neat to have to display so I called up a local dentist and told them I wanted a cast of my mouth, and they definitely thought it was weird, but said okay.  It cost $25, which was cheaper then what I was expecting it to be.  It's a little fragile though, there is a chip in one of the teeth :( so now it is up high.  And here's a close up of it, just for you!  My brother in law thought they were creepy.

Okay, this might be one of the longest posts in my life.  Time to wrap it up.  

Halloween Candy- Now What Do I Do?

Saw that Rage Against The Minivan did a follow up post to the one I linked you to yesterday.  Go here  
to see it.  It's an idea post on what to do instead of using Hershey's and Nestle chocolate for Halloween.  The comments are interesting and make some thoughtful points on both sides of the coin, if you have some time I would try to read a few.

Apparently, she had the most hate emails ever in her history of blogging, the worst ones of which she deleted out of the comments section.

Many people think that she is just being a downer and that there are so many things in this world that have bad or semi-bad things associated with them.  And while yes, that may be true, I still think it is good to make people aware of what is going on in this world.  Change doesn't happen unless we make it.  Perhaps you don't really care about child labor over chocolate, but find something else that strikes at your core and try to make a difference there.

If you don't have time to click to her site, here is a summary of the options she gives: (for more info. on each of these, please see her blog.

1. Avoid Hershey's and Nestles.  A good option is Mars and Kraft products
2. Buy chocolate free candy
3. Buy fair trade or organic

Okay, off my soapbox and regular posting about whatever to resume tomorrow.

Here's a cute picture to take some of the stress off being told that when we buy chocolate we are supporting forced child labor.

I mean, come on, how could this not put you in a better mood?

Halloween Candy and Forced Child Labor

In case you somehow missed it, Halloween is this month.  Of course, the Christmas decorations in stores may have confused you, as it did me.

We don't celebrate Halloween which I will probably expound a bit on later.  But I really would love if you clicked over to the blog Rage Against The Minivan and read her info. on the truth about halloween  chocolate candy and forced child labor even if you don't celebrate it either.  Because if you eat chocolate, and I think you do, this will affect you too.

It will make you uncomfortable, as it should, and make you think twice, as it should.

Trying Moments of the Mommy Life

Let's see.  Today I have gone into the bathroom with two potty-training toddlers every 10 minutes of every.stinking.hour.  I cleaned up one child's pee puddle in front of the tv.  One child's poop smears from hopping off the toilet when I told him not to until Mommy came.  Rescued one toddler's poor, tiny hand from being closed in the door by his older brother, which I actually thought was broken, but hopefully, fingers crossed, is only smashed a whole bunch.

Also, two fights over books, one screaming match over a specific blanket, several arguments over sippy cups, two kids from trying to play with the old lamps on Mommy's floor, scraped graham cracker out of the white slipcover which I need to desperately bleach.  Stopped one little half-pint of a girl from gurgling and then spitting her water onto the floor and laughing hysterically, rescued 11 DVD's that were strewn about the floor from said little kidlets.  Put all of the hats, mittens and snow paraphanelia (don't know how to spell that) that they spread out all over the house back into the bench that they will probably just dump out again later today despite my threats and warnings.  Just in time rescued an entire container of oatmeal from being dumped out across the kitchen floor, and saved the tiniest Nelson from being locked in the bathroom by his older brother, who may just have it out for him.  And locked myself in the bedroom to escape all of the screaming while I talked to the RN about little smashed hand and if we needed to x-ray.  And these are only the specific things that I can remember.

Oh, did I mention that it isn't even lunch time?

They say that being a stay at home mom is a sacrifice, and let me tell you, it is.

A sacrifice of my sanity.

Cool Things For Fall I Won't Be Doing

I have come across some crazy, awesome things for fall.  None of which, unfortunately, I will be doing.  A combo of no time, and laziness, plus 5 kids sort of doesn't leave time for intricate crafts.  Still, these are pretty stinkin' cool, and I would love to.  Some day.

Like these pumpkins for example.  Can you even believe it?  How long would it take to do the first ones in the picture below?  Knowing my luck I would just about get it all done and then one side would cave in and I would cry for a very long time.

Directions for doing any or all of these can be found here.  Martha Stewart- of course.

`

Or how about these acorn candies?  Don't they just look yummy?  I think my hands are already getting arthritis from trying to manipulate items so small.  But I bet they are delicious.  My kids would have them eaten up so soon I can't even think about it.  I would want to display them in a little glass case so people could see how artsy-fartsy I actually was!

Go here for the recipe.  My new issue of Martha Stewart has another recipe for these that I tried in vain to find on her site, but no dice.  Her's are even better looking, and way more time consuming then these! (What, that surprises you?!)

A very fun and very simple way to show off some beauty.  Burlap, leaves and a frame.  Almost everyone has these items in their house buried somewhere.  I tried to source it for you, but my computer gave a malware warning and so I couldn't get you to the original site without the fear of harming my computer.

I could probably actually do this at my crazy house.  Here is the tutorial on how to make this fun garland at A Beautiful Mess  And don't you just love that blog name?

Here is a great use for those old 80's sweaters or any that are stained beyond repair.  A cute idea that I haven't seen yet.  Go here for more info.

And then we have DIY sugar letters.  I am thinking that this is a craft for someone with much too much time on their hands.  But regardless of that, I think it is a pretty adorable idea.  How much fun would it be to have a tea party with your little girl and her friends and their names were spelled out in sugar cubes they could eat?  

My kids want to do every single one of the ideas above, but especially the pumpkins.  Can you imagine a 9, 5, two 2 year olds, and a 1 year old carving pumpkins?  Me neither.  Probably we will give them a sharpie marker (dangerous enough) and have them draw all over a couple.  Maybe they will draw in a chevron pattern like this one.

These are actually decoupaged.  Un-freakin' believable.  If only I was so imaginative.  

People Rock.

Muffin Magic

My kids are "like so sick of oatmeal, Mom".  That would be from Ava, who is 9 going on 16.

We've been going strong with our no cereal rule for the past 8 months.  But finally, even I am sick of oatmeal   and eggs and waffles, and mostly sick of my kids whining about what's for breakfast.  I have been thinking about making some muffins from scratch but really been to lazy to find a recipe.  And then in this weekend's Parade in the Sunday paper, behold there it was.  And now I have no excuses.

(These are not my muffins, my kids ate them before I could take a picture.  I googled this image.)

Basic Breakfast Muffins

2 c. flour
1 T. baking powder
1/4 c. sugar
3/4 t. salt
2 eggs
1 c. milk
1/2 c. veg.oil
1 1/2 t. vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 400, spray muffin pan
2. Beat eggs, milk, oil and vanilla in large bowl for about 1 minute
3. Add dry ingredients, beat just until no streaks of flour remain
4. Spoon into muffin cups, bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes until tops springy when pushed lightly

Makes 1 dozen muffins

Technically you were supposed to mix your dry ingredients separately and then add to the wet ones, but I was by far too lazy and my muffins still turned out awesome, so why do an extra step?  We added craisins to spice it up a bit, and our flour was actually  half and half white and wheat.  Next time we will add one banana and 1/2 c. choc. chips.  Pretty much anything you can think of putting in muffins you probably should.

And my kids ate them up, so we are going to be instigating "Muffin Monday".  Where every Monday we eat muffins for breakfast.  Probably I will make a double batch and serve them on one of the other school mornings too.  Usually they have some type of fruit, typically a banana or an apple since they are cheap, and milk to go with whatever else we are having for breakfast.

It definitely takes more time to make things from scratch, but in the long run it is saving us a lot of money.  These kids are already eating us out of house and home!

A Seriously Embarrassing Moment With Neighbor Kids

I almost wasn't going to post this, but then I had several people who almost demanded that I did because they thought it was so funny.  Probably because it wasn't them.

And I have to tell a story to get to the embarrassing part, so hang in there.

Wednesday I decided that it would be totally awesome to dye my hair black.  I felt like I needed a change, and since the aforementioned bangs weren't going to work out because of one crazy cowlick, I was going to take matters into my own hands.  So the kidlets and I headed to Target (where else) to buy some hair dye.  Once there, Kembia and Moyz decided to only say the word Chihuahua to everyone, which isn't even something I knew they could say.  Everyone thought it was hilarious except for me because they wouldn't be quiet.  We were like that broken toy that just keeps talking even when the battery is dying.

And as soon as we got home off to bed they went and I knew I had to move fast.  Moyz is an hour nap taker at the most.  My biggest fear right now is that he is going to soon give up naps completely.

Here is me before they hair dye just to remind myself.  Taken in my bathroom which has the best light in the house, unfortunately.  Which I might as well take the time to add, smells like pee and I can't shake it no matter how hard I try.  I cannot wait until the twins are potty trained.  In the mean time I use up a lot of Scentsy wax to cover the scent.

I never noticed until now but I always hold my mouth funny when I take my own pictures and my glasses are never all the way up my nose where they should be.  Put together I tell you, that's what I am.

Anyway, I get that dye in my hair and notice that the spots that I spilled on the freakin' wall are turning blue.  Uh oh.  You can see where I am going, and this isn't even the embarrassing part with the neighbors yet.  At the end of my 25 minutes I had blue hair.  I didn't even know that was possible, dye it black and have it turn out blue.  To be fair, it wasn't Katy Perry blue, but it was still blue with a little bit of black.  It was especially blue around the forehead.  I tried in vain to get a good picture of it so you can see how ridiculous it looked, but it was just black enough that I couldn't get my cheap, 5 year old camera to show it correctly.  

I talked to a hair stylist friend of mine who said rush out and get the darkest red I can find and that should balance it out and cover up the blue.  And oh by the way, once you go black essentially you can never go back.  Also didn't know that.

And here we finally get to the good part.  The older two kids were at Awana's and the babies were all sleeping.  I am not sure what Chris was doing, wandering around the house or something like that, but he noticed the smell coming from the bathroom and came to open up a few windows.  I tried to tell him that opening windows was a bad idea since it was 7:30 and pitch black out and I was butt naked because of the humongous mess I made the first time around, but he told me that he didn't want me to die of poisoning.

I tried to tell him that this was a bad idea because some neighbor kids could come by or Ed, our 80- something year old neighbor who has a crush on me.  Chris' only response was the if Ed came by then he would have two dead people on his hands- me from hair dye poisoning and Ed from a heart attack.  

After joking about it I went and sat on the floor in the kitchen and surfed design blogs to kill time while waiting for the new color to set, and when my time was up, got up and started walking down the hallway when the doorbell rang.  The doorbell on the door that was wide open.  And the hallway I was standing in naked is right in direct view of the door.  I walked as fast as I could to my room and stood there trying to hear who it was.

Turns out it was our two cute neighbor girls ages 4 and 6 bringing our family Halloween cookies they made.  I have no idea if they saw me, I find it impossible that they couldn't, because I made Chris go outside and see if he could have seen me.  I think I need to go and tell their mom what happened in case they did see me and went home and told their mom that they saw the neighbor lady naked.  Chris thinks I should just let it be unless their mom says something.  I don't even know their mother, I have only met her one time in my life.  She lets their kids come over and play with our kids outside because we don't let our kids go anywhere where we don't know the parents well.  Now, she probably thinks I am some crazy pervert and will never allow her girls to set foot in our yard again.  

For real.  How is that I can joke with Chris about something happening and then not 10 minutes later it does?  What do you think I should do?  I tried to put myself in reverse position, what would I do if Ava came home and said she saw the neighbor lady naked.  Would I want her to come over and tell me what was going on, or would I be understanding that it was sort of late at night (at least in my opinion for a 4 and 6 year old to be walking around at dark by themselves) and sometimes these things happen.  I am not sure exactly what I would think.  Probably Chris and I would play light about it with the kids but then maybe keep them away from their house for awhile.  

And here's the hair now.  At least it isn't blue anymore.  Good grief.  May this time rest in peace!

There's that crazy mouth thing again.  Also, try hard to ignore the orange-instead-of-blue hairline.  I am not supposed to wash it for 48 hours so I won't be leaving my house in the mean time unless I wear a baseball cap to cover up the obviously dyed shining bright beacon on the top of my forehead.  I don't even own a baseball hat.  I can't decide which version I like best.  I am hoping that the latter doesn't wash me out too much, but you can certainly let me know if you think it does.  The problem with the before picture is that it just seems too mousey.  This is where Chris would tell me a few well-placed highlights would have done well.  He loves blonde on me, much to my dismay.  The thing is I feel much more like myself with dark hair.  Of course I could put a couple of highlights in this around the face, but I think 4 bottles of dye in less than half a day is probably a bit much for my hair to be doing anything else at this point.

Paleo-sort-of and Other Ramblings

Well, I have been kind of giving the paleo diet a chance.  I eat eggs for breakfast, which I am so sick of I could almost scream.  Yesterday I had oysters (with crackers, oops) for lunch.  And I fed them to the babies because I was really hoping to watch them make highly disgusted faces at me, and they LOVED them.  Talk about the ultimate backfire.

Nothing against vegetarians, truly, I just thought this was funny.  Coming from a hunting family and all....

So the upshot is I have lost 3 pounds.  Probably it could be more, but my issue with Mochas may come into play here and since it is currently 39 degrees outside it is just such a great way to warm up.  Oy.

Let's see, it is 8 in the morning and I have already turned the tv on for the kidlets.  Not a good sign.

Ava took my camera on a field trip today.  I have threatened that bad things will happen if she loses it.  Must teach responsibility, however, I will secretly be happy if she does.  They barely carry the SD card we need for it because it is so outdated and the card is $35 when I can buy a new camera for $100.

This is what I feel like when we show our camera and ask questions to people about it.  Really it isn't that old.  Only 5 years.  This may be a bad time to mention that my phone is a dumb phone-  where you flip the top open and dial.  Also, I still buy cd's.

Owen wants me to trim the hair around his ears and on the sides but not touch the top because he wants to "always have a mohawk".  This could very well be my future.

Truitt has learned that if he carries the bathroom step-stool around the house he can use it to get into previously unreachable things and cause even more trouble.

The Story of Truitt's Life

And finally, I swear Moyz and Kembia are competing in the pee-as-much-as-you-can category.  We go in and out of the bathroom so many times a day I think they are holding most of it in to get more choc. chips for every time they go. 

Jess out.