One of those dumb moments

I honestly can't remember if I have blogged about this before. But when we were in Uganda, I didn't have access to large amounts of water. We were staying with our friend in a very poor part of town. So I basically didn't wash my hair for the two weeks we were there. If you don't wash your hair for two weeks, it does some amazing things. Mine decided that it was going to be curly. This is something that I have never noticed here in the states. When I was a very little girl, I had a crop of white blonde hair that curled into what would almost be the equivalent of a fro, but as I got older, I lost the curl, and the color, and it has been straight ever since. Two weeks ago I went to get it highlighted, and after she had rinsed the color out, she asked me if I always blow dry it out straight, or if I ever let it go curly. It was one of those embarassing moments, where I had to admit, well you know, when we were on a trip it did get really curly, but since I only wash my hair a couple of times a week (they swear it is better for you!) and that I immediately blow dry it so I can put it into a pony, I haven't really ever noticed that it was curly before. She ended up using a diffuser on it for the first time in my life. When she was finished and had me look in the mirror, I could not believe that it was myself looking back at me. I have always said that I wish I had curly hair. Now, I feel like a moron that I actually have curly hair and didn't know it. Talk about a dumb moment. To be fair, since my son was born three years ago, I have had extremely short hair, just about 2 inches every where except for longer pieces in the front, so I wouldn't have known at that length. The hairdresser said it probably became curly after my son was born if I never noticed it before then. I have to admit, I am loving it! It is super fun, but super thick, and much hotter on my neck when it is all curly, but I am over the moon about it! I will try to post a before and after picture so you can see what I am talking about! My hubby likes it, but thinks it is more than slightly funny that I have lived for so long without knowing. Apparently, it is very common for people's hair to change over time, especially after they have had children. Still, I consider myself fairly smart and observant, so this is one of those things where I had to pause and say "really, you missed this Jess?"

Good Exhaustion

I am beyond tired. This week has been our vacation bible school week. Since we don't have a church building (we meet in the high school), we do our VBS in the middle school. We have over 100 kids from our church and the community. It has rocked. The kids have been on fire and ready to participate. Same with the adults, although we drink lots of caffeine to help keep us going! The kids have been raising money by doing chores for the orphanage Chris and I visited in January. My two, all on their own, without me asking, cleaned their bookcase and the front closet. I was super impressed. One little girl from VBS cleaned the toilet at her house. Pretty amazing if you ask me. I hate cleaning my toilet! I think that Ava and Owen are going to be more than slightly disappointed next week when Monday comes and we aren't frantically trying to get out the door in time.

Other than that, no news on the adoption front. I am holding out hope for the last two days of July. Of course, now the fall clothes are starting to show up in stores, which is making my resolution not to by anything for them until we know who they are, a little bit harder. Okay, a lot harder. I know that they will be coming home when it is cold, so when I see those cute baby tights, and puffer vests, I can just invision my beautiful children in them. It was easier to avoid the little swimsuits and tank tops, because where I live, no one wears stuff like that for about 6 months out of the year. Have you recently looked at baby jeans? Could there be anything cuter? Plus, I live near a Carters outlet, and they have the greatest return program. As long as you have a receipt, you can return an item in 10 years if you wanted to. It takes a fair amount of self control to not by everything now, thinking I will return it later if it doesn't work!

Aside from battling my urge to buy things for children that I don't know what size they are, I have been trying to get rid of a whole colony of ants that came into my house with a plant that I have been moving back and forth from inside to out to soak up the sun. My kids love it because then they can play "ant smasher", but on the other hand, it is annoying to have them crawl on you when you least expect it, and I still panic and think that it is a tick. I grew up on a farm, so I really have no reason to be such a wimp when it comes to small insects, but I do not.do.well.with.ticks. I can, however, fake it very well when there is a tick on my kids and they are panicking. Then super mom comes out and is able to get it off without freaking out. It might be hard for me to hide the fact that I want to shreak and go running from the room, but I stay and get that tick off of them. (see also spiders). Isn't it amazing the things that we can do for our kids?!

Three months...

Well, today marks three months waiting for our referral. Sigh. When we signed with our agency, we were told 0-3 months for an infant, but shortly after we signed it was moved to 0-6 months. I am still hoping that something will come through in these last 4 days of July. That would be amazing. Meanwhile, I will repeat my mantra of God's timing, not mine, and try not to obsess about when the referrals will come, and stalking my email. Although, I will admit that it is going to be a challenge for me. I have thought about giving up the computer, but then I will for sure miss the referrals so I remain internet connected. My husband, meanwhile, is Mr. Patient. Which is both a really great thing, and a giant pain. I love it because he helps calm me down, and tells me that for whatever reason, our children just aren't ready yet to come home with us. But it is also really annoying, because I see the strength he has, and I don't have it. Plus, do you ever have one of those moments where you really want someone to be just as anxious as you? I don't really want to see him anxious, but I somehow think it would make me feel better. Of course, that is just selfishness talking, and yes, I am working on it.

Call me Rachel Ray

You know the feeling you have come 4:00 and you have no idea what to make for dinner? I tend to have that feeling on a semi-regular basis. Tonight was no exception. I am digging through my pantry filled with canned beans and chicken broth, trying to figure out something new and exciting, when I grabbed a box of Linguini. On the side was a recipe for linguini with clam sauce. Suprisingly, I happened to have a bottle of clam sauce on hand. (who has clam sauce on hand? I have no idea why I had a bottle in my cupboard!) I quick ran to the grocery store at 4:15 and grabbed two cans of clams. Got home, cooked it up, and hello. It was awesome! My kids even loved it and wanted seconds. How many kids do you know that eat clams? Especially kids who know it is clams and then still eat it? I feel like an amazingly accomplished chef, which I am sooo not. It tasted like something you would order at Olive Garden, only for 75% less moola. Below is the recipe. Hope you love it!

Linguine with Clam Sauce

16 oz. linguine
4 garlic cloves minced
3T. butter or margarine
20 oz. clams with juice
1 c. clam juice (in addition to juice above)
3T white wine, optional (I did not use)
1/4 t. pepper
grated parmesan cheese

Cook pasta according to directions. Meanwhile, in large saucepan, cook garlic in butter over medium heat until soft, about 2 minutes. Add clams and juice. Cook until heated through. Add wine and pepper. Pour over pasta in individual bowls, top with cheese.

Same Old and Bead for Life

I wish that I had something exciting to post. About the adoption, about anything. But I don't. It's the same old routine in the Nelson house. Not that I should be complaining. Life is pretty darn good to us. Today we have officially been waiting 2 months and 3 weeks. I have been fretting the closer we come to our 3 month wait for the referrals. We were told that the wait would be 0-3 months, but shortly after we signed, they changed the wait to 0-6 months. Still hoping to ge that referral in the month of July. Really hoping that it doesn't take us 6 months. Also really trying to rememer that in the world of adoption, this is still lightning fast.

In other news, Ava has started to freak out now that they have school supplies in all of the stores. She keeps stressing how summer is going so fast and it doesn't feel like vacation. (This coming from the girl who just spent a week at her grandparents being spoiled rotten!) I, on the other hand, love it when school supplies come back into stores. Who doesn't need 15 cent notebooks and folders? And a new box of crayons for a quarter? I'll take two! It is the perfect time to get new craft supplies for the kids. Three year old's are pretty hard on those crayons. (and markers and glue sticks and just about every other crafty item ever invented!)

I'll sign off after I mention a program called Bead for Life. This is a non-profit organization that partners with impoverished women in Uganda. They make beautiful necklaces out of recycled paper, and earn fair trade wages, and it rises them up out of poverty. For every dollar spent, 93 cents goes back to the women and to humanitarian programs they have like schooling, and medical, housing and well digging, to name a few. I simply signed up on their website to host a jewelry party. They send you all of the jewelry, along with some pictures and biographies of the beaders, and a short cd on the living conditions these women used to be in, and how Bead for Life has helped them. Then you invite a bunch of friends over to look at the jewelry. They have bracelets that start at $5, earrings for $10, and necklaces up to $30. I suggest you go to their website: http://www.beadforlife.org/. Every woman I know loves jewelry, and this is a great, tangible way to make a difference in the life of a woman half way across the world. It may not seem like a huge thing, but it is huge to them. One billion people in the world live on less than a dollar a day. When we were in Uganda, most people we met were just trying to keep from starving to death. This is real life for so many people in the world. And you can make a difference. Check it out. There is no cost at all to have the party. They ship the jewelry to you for free, and include a pre-paid return shipping label for all of the jewelry you don't sell. You have nothing to lose, but can change a woman's life.

Gotcha Day videos

Lately, I have really been into watching Gotcha Day videos. These are short videos that adopting families make of the first time they met their children. I love them. I have personally known none of the families that I have watched the videos of, but I cry every.single.time. I am not sure that it is the healthiest thing for me to be doing- I am not a pretty crier. My face turns bright red and splotchy, and my eyes puff up. But I can't help but watch! It is amazing to see the love in the faces of the parents and the families. I cannot wait for it to be our turn. (Which is another reason I probably shouldn't watch so many- it makes me really wish that it was our turn right now.) If you haven't had the chance to see any, you can go to youtube and type in Gotcha Day and a whole bunch will pop up. They are so much fun. I can pretty much guarantee that you will like them. I can't guarantee that you will cry, that seems to be reserved for ginormous saps like me. I cried at Toy Story 3 with my kids, who by the way, did not cry, and probably thought I was nuts! Perhaps we should not make a Gotcha Day when we go to get our two beautiful babies. Chances are I will be sobbing, plus with the red, splotchy face and more likely than not, snot, it may not make the best video! Oh well, that is all part of love!

Baby Birds

A little sparrow made a nest in the branches of a bush I have on the side of our house. Inside were 4 perfect little eggs. This has been a hobby of mine the last couple of weeks. I check every morning to see if any of the eggs had hatched. Two weeks ago, the first one did. I don't know if you have ever seen a newborn bird, but man are they ugly. This small pile of pink skin and bones and this huge area which is their still undeveloped eye. A few days later, three of the four birds had hatched. It became my routine to check on them a couple of times a day. I wanted to make sure that they were all still there, and to see them grow. At first I would make the parents panic (they take turns sitting on the nest, how neat is that?!), but I think they got so used to me that when I would come to look, they would just hop to a dift. part of the the bush and look at me. Last week, when I came out to look, one of the babies was missing. They were still teeny, tiny, but three in that little nest was too many, and one fell out. I searched and searched, but didn't see it. It really made me sad. Over the next week, I watched the other two grow and get super cute. I literally checked on them 5-6 times a day. A few days ago, I looked and there was only one. There was no way that she had flown away, so in a panic I started looking for her. About 20 minutes later, I found her under a flower further down in the garden. I placed her back in the nest, and went into the house. 20 minutes later I peeked and she was still there. The next day, both gone again. Now, I know that this is all part of nature. If a nest is too small to hold the babies, they will fall out. It's life, and I do understand that. But, I had gotten attached to these little birds. After searching my yard for about an hour, I found them both. I placed them in a small box, and put it into the tree. The parents came back to the box and continued to feed them for a couple of days. I would check to make sure that they were still there, and okay. They had almost all of their feathers, and were adorable. I imagine given 4-5 more days they would fly away. Yesterday, I checked in the morning, and left for a meeting. When I came back, the box was out of the tree, and the parents were going crazy with their chirpping noises. They were flying all over the place and I have never heard them so noisy. I probably spent an hour looking for the birds. I couldn't find them. Then I went in the house and watched the parents from the window to see if they were landing in any particular spot in the yard. I had seen them do this before, and that was how I found the babies the first time they fell out. The parents hear them chirp and go to them. This time, the parents didn't land at any particular spot. I went back out again to look for them, and still nothing. A little while later, the parents left our yard. The babies were gone. They were not old enough to fly. I had watched the one try to flutter around a little bit that morning, but it wasn't time yet. I don't know what happened to them, and it may sound silly, but I grieved for these little birds that I watched get big, and put back into the nest when they fell out. It was such a neat experience to see and be a part of. And then last night, I remembered a bible verse:

"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" Matthew 6:25

I was attached to these birds, and when the first one fell out and died (we later did find the little body), I was sad. When the two healthy ones disappeared, I called my husband because I was upset. But my feelings both loving and sad for the birds, are nothing compared to what God feels for us as his children. I can't even begin to understand the sorrow he must feel at those who choose not to accept his love, at those who turn away from Him. I am just as guilty of not always accepting Him and following His ways as anyone else. Christians are not exempt from hurting Him. We make mistakes, we choose to do things we know aren't right. We all sin.

My sorrow for those birds wasn't even on the radar scale of what God feels for us. God created all life, and I don't think that feeling sad for those little birds was wrong. But my grief at their loss, should not overshadow, or come close to the grief I feel when people die and haven't commited themselves to God. Everyday there are people who die that have chosen to go their own way. Everyday people turn away from him for various reasons. I am convicted. God loves each and every person on this planet- the child, the mom, the husband, the murderer, the rapist, the Buddhist, the Muslim, the atheist. He loves ALL of us. Every.last.single.one. Have you really stopped and considered that before? That band that you can't stand the music? Loves them. That person who really drives you batty? Loves them. All those prisoners on death row? Loves them. Perhaps a family member who really hurt you? Loves them. He loves us all. What an amazing thing. I truly cannot comprehend it. There is no one in my life that can love me completely like that. No one that loves me regardless of the faults and all the things that I have done, and yet will do. And there is no one in this world that will love you that much. Ever. No one, but Jesus.