I have a confession to make and it is going to make me sound horrible, but please don't hold it against me.

Yesterday we learned that all of the children were being moved to a new orphanage. A nicer, bigger, all around better situation for all of them. Due to this, there has been nothing to do with court done this week. Selfishly, (here comes the confession) I am so tired of delays preventing my babies coming home to me that while I was happy for the kids- and believe me, I am- I am also so disappointed because it is one more thing stopping them from coming home.

I have wrestled with how could I possibly feel negative about something that is so good for all of those kids? And yet, the disappointment lingers.

I have honestly considered booking a flight over there and parking my butt at the courthouse until our paperwork is finished. Not that it is the best situation for me to do, but I am getting to the desperate point here in our journey. I will do whatever it takes, as long as it is legal, to get them home.

Owen and I went to Target today and they had diapers on clearance- when do you see diapers on clearance? I was so tempted to buy some, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Everything seems still so far away. And I still have a lot of fear that this is all going to be a pipe dream- that these beautiful and already much-loved children will not become part of our family. I know that I need to fight those feelings, but honestly, it is becoming so hard.