Still haven't received our new court docs. I am trying not to freak out, but I am pretty close to that point. Come on already! We have known about our son since last August. It is beyond time to bring him and our daughter home.

Of course, the weekend that we had did help me put a few things in perspective. On Friday Owen and I spent 2 1/2 hours in the urgent care for an ear infection. Poor little guy. By the time he was seen he went from no fever to 102. Then four hours later I ended up in the emergency room. I developed out of nowhere a raging case of extreme vertigo. Every time I moved positions I would throw up everything, I couldn't walk without help, it was one of the worst things I have been through. After 4 hours of trying to wait it out we ended up going in.

The moment I got back into the ER room I threw up again. They ended up putting in an IV because I was so dehydrated and giving me all sorts of different types of medicine to treat the symptoms because they can't treat the vertigo. We spent a long night in the ER with them trying different things to help me.

When we finally got ready to go home and waiting for the nurse to come with discharge papers, an ambulance came and an old man was put into the room next to me. This man was dying. We could hear everything going on in his room, from the paddles they used to recesitate him, to the machine that was breathing for him, to everything the nurses and doctors said. When I was wheelchaired out to leave we went right past his room and there was 3 or 4 nurses and a doctor in there. It was one of those moments that felt so surreal. I had vertigo, and it sucked big time, but here was this man who quite possibly didn't make it that morning. I don't know anything about him or his life. But it just made me pause and think about my life, and the things that I complain about or take for granted.

As much as I hate that our adoption has dragged out this long, there are worse things that could be going on in our lives. It was a very good reminder that life is short, and we don't know what will happen.