God's Timing....

Since we have been in the process of adopting for 3/4 of a year, (I can't believe it has been that long already!) I have spent a fair amount of time in those months reading other adoption blogs where the families are adopting out of various African countries. There is something comforting in reading what other adoptive parents are going through as we go through the same thing. And I love seeing other people's passion for Africa and the people there. Lately though, if I am honest with myself, I have been having a hard time as families receive their referrals, or are getting ready to travel, or who have recently come home with their children. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic and over the moon for them, and I have cried many tears of joy for these families, of whom I don't even know. Even my kids have wondered at me when they see the tears and ask what is wrong, and I say nothing, that I am happy for these families who have waited so long for their children!

Had we stayed in the Ethiopia program, we more than likely would have had our referral by now. And even though I know that we made the right decision for our family by leaving that program, knowing that we would have had a child by now can get me down. And as I see other families receive their referrals, it only reinforces that we do not have ours yet. I don't like that I feel this way, and I have to fight against it. What I do know is that God has an ultimate plan for us, and that His ways are infinitely better than mine. But that does not always make the longing be less or ever completely go away. I have faith in knowing that our situation will be mapped out exactly as it should, but I still have to reconcile that my timing and God's timing, are not the same right now.

I don't mean to sound so depressing! We have so much to be thankful for, but I just feel like I needed to admit what I am going through right now. There is a song that I find great comfort in by John Waller, it is called "While I'm Waiting". I will list the lyrics below. It is a great reminder for me, to live the life that God has given me, and as we wait for our children, I can serve Him and know that he loves us.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

I still haven't figured out how to make a link on a post, but if you do not already know the song, I would definitely look the video up on you tube. It is beautiful, and you will love it.