Thursday, January 19, 2012

6 Months Home

I can't believe that 6 months have passed. Let me just say that truly, OVERALL, it has gone by fast, and for the most part I have forgotten those first extremely hard 2 months. You know, the months where I banned myself to the basement and all I did was sit next to the kids all day long because they (mostly Kembia) would freak out if I left their sight. The months where Moyz wouldn't look me in the eye and would go to anyone who vaguely resembled a woman and that he happened to come across. And after Truitt was introduced to the bunch it completely set back attachment with the kidlets and actually made things worse.

If I am really honest with myself, I still worry about Moyz sometimes. His reluctance to give me kisses when I ask even though he will give them to Daddy and his brothers and sisters. Or the fact that he still has moments where he will suck on his lip and rub his belly while laying on the floor. Sometimes I will get myself all worked up over the time that he spent in an orphanage and worry if that can ever be reversed and if he will truly be all right. I tend to worry about things excessively anyway, but then you add something like your kids' mental health status and functioning for the rest of their life, and at times I can make myself crazy. At that point I have to remind myself that Satan is a jerk and loves to use what I most fear against me.

I wish that I was filled with all sorts of wonderful advice for parents. Stuff to let other adopting families know about, and I have bits and pieces but there really is no way to sum it up other than to say you will get through it. That's probably the worst advice ever because it does nothing really to comfort the family that is struggling about their adoption decision and how things are going and what life would be like if they wouldn't have adopted. I remember when things really sucked and I turned to Chris and said something along the lines of how easy our life would be if we hadn't adopted the kids. And he immediately said that we shouldn't be thinking that way and that allowing ourselves those negative thoughts would only push us further down. And you know what? He is absolutely right. Yes, those first months sucked royally, but I would do them all again 100 times if I had to to have my kids. Adoption is hard, and messy and painful, but it really is worth it. I look at my kids and I cannot explain the amount of love for them, how thankful that I am that they are in my life.

Bring on the next 6 months....

1 comment:

  1. That is quite honestly one of the best posts and most helpful. THANK YOU, honesty and just from the heart I love reading your entries!!!