Waiting Sucks

There really is no other way to put it- waiting sucks.

Adoption is all about waiting. You wait to get paperwork filed, you wait for a referral, then you wait for updates, you wait on two separate governements, and you wait some more. By far the worst wait is the waiting we are doing now- the final wait, the wait for the embassy to give us the visas if they see fit to do so.

They have asked us for some additional information which hopefully was given to them last Friday. I have never wanted a weekend to go by so fast in my life so things could move forward again and keep our process going!

In the mean time, I haven't been doing the best. There are times where I will just break out into spontaneous crying. This happens a lot when I go pass their room and see their beds and blankets that were sewn just for them, and open their drawers and see all their clothes. Waiting, waiting for them.

I have heartburn from all the stressing, plus I am not sleeping well at night. Do you ever feel like your body is keyed up so tight that it is almost vibrating? That's how I feel right now. I look at my computer a million times a day in the off chance that an email came in since the last time I looked 5 minutes ago. It's best for me to just be out of my house and distracted, but that isn't feasible for a long term plan.

I know, the obvious answer is to give it to God. And I am trying, it's just that I am struggling so hard with it right now. Because what will I do if it isn't God's will for these kids to be a part of my family? How will I ever deal with that?

Please keep praying- I so need them right now.